The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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