did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
