she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
