So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
