i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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