Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
try to milk me bitch
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