My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
In America we eat man semen.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
