You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
