i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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