Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
