i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
