Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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