Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
