so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
