You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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