you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize