before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
