My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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