and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
