I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
