Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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