Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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