I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
