I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
