Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
