Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
