just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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