guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
