I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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