if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
