I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
