Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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