need another drink. this is the easiest way
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
