I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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