Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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