please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
