see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
