She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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