hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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