let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
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