when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You may now shotgun with the bride
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
