i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
