sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
