thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
