I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Who put my cat in the fridge?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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