I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
