if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
