Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
