Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
