i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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