ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I came so hard my ears popped.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
