kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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