I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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