Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
