Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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