Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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