laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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