But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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