sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
